Chapter 05 - Page 04

posted February 26th, 2012, 12:27 am


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view Captain Ghost's profile

February 26th, 2012, 12:17 am

Captain Ghost

To any who read the Author comments O:

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Yay, late night update!

But, uh, that aside--
if I could get anyone's feedback, if they remember the first two pages of this chapter--
I edited them a little bit.
Does the order of the 'narrator boxes' make a bit more sense at all?
I don't think the timing is quite perfect still, but is it better/easier to understand than before?

Basically, it was the next night after the encounter with Sol, hence why they were camping outside and not enjoying the hotel's luxury :I

Yes? No? Yebno?

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That aside, UGHHHH
My scanner hates me lately, I'm trying to fix it but don't know what's up :< merf. So for all the random dark/splotchy areas... That's what's up. Bleeehhh.

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As though this comment weren't long enough already...

But uh. This is my shot at a 'transition' of sorts? Basically they're just traveling, getting to know each other a bit. Something like that?
I hope that came across but mrrr I dunno.
I'M EXCITED FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER?
Glad to have gotten these pages out of the way I:

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June 28th, 2017, 3:58 am

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view Living Rock's profile

February 27th, 2012, 9:28 am

Living Rock

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I re-read the first two pages of this chapter and the editing you did makes it is easier to follow.

As for this page, I do get the sense they're traveling on a journey and getting to know each other, so it is coming across.

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view HKim's profile

February 27th, 2012, 6:28 pm

HKim

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I agree with Living Rock, the redone pages better tie together the opening scenes and clarify what's going on. Originally I had thought the pages weren't entirely on the same day.

As for this page, while I do think it portrays them travelling, I do feel there is something missing. Almost like I expected all the panels to be linked together even though that's not the case. I'm afraid I don't know how to improve it though.

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view Captain Ghost's profile

March 3rd, 2012, 7:16 pm

Captain Ghost

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@Living Rock:
and
@HKim:

Thanks for the feedback guys, it's mighty appreciated (:

And..hm. You're right. It does feel like there's something missing, though I'm not quite sure -what- ...
I will keep it in mind for the future~

Thanks again~!

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